Gadfly in the Ointment
[Most Recent Entries]
[Calendar View]
[Friends]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
David Lubar's LiveJournal:
[ << Previous 20 ]
| Thursday, May 8th, 2008 | | 11:45 am |
Fantacity
The city of Vallejo has declared bankruptcy.
The city of Frazetta was not available for comment. | | Wednesday, May 7th, 2008 | | 8:28 am |
Clause-traphobia Listen. Do you hear that scream? Do you hear that moan? Or perhaps it's a whimper, a gasp, or a puzzled, "Huh?" Most publishers pay royalties in April or May for sales from July through December of the previous year. As I sort through my statements (I have books scattered among too many publishers), I can't help picturing the reaction of last year's first time writers when they discover the true meaning of those seemingly insignificant clauses in their contracts. The first shock will probably be the "reserve against returns." Since a book isn't really sold until it leaves the store, publishers can't pay a royalty immediately for every copy shipped. They assume a certain portion will come back. If a book ships 5,000 copies, the publisher might hold back the royalty on 2,500 copies. If the returns are lower than predicted, the excess is eventually paid. This isn't unreasonable, but it definitely leaps out the first time you read a royalty statement. The real shocker comes for those who have the deep-discount clause. I've written about it before. (Those of you who aren't afraid of math can read that post here .) In some contracts, the publisher pays 1/2 the royalty on any sales made at a discount of 52% or greater, and 1/2 of the money received on any paperback sales made at a discount of 50% or greater. (I'm pleased that my main publisher doesn't do this.) In essence, the hardcover version of this clause allows the publisher to take a nickel out of a writers pocket, give 2 cents to the distibutor, and keep the other 3 cents. This wouldn't be a problem if the bulk of sales were at regular discounts. But here's a real-life example from a current statement. One of my paperbacks sold 1,266 copies at the regular discount during the July-Decemeber period, earning $530 (42 cents per book) and sold 15,286 copies at 50% discount, bringing in $2,577 (17 cents per book). The hardcover edition sold 3 copies at a deep discount for every copy sold at a standard discount. I signed that contract, so I have nobody to blame except myself. But I will never sign another contract with such a draconian version of the deep-discount clause, and I urge anyone who is currently negotiating a sale to look closely at this part of your contract. So, has anyone out there screamed, moaned, or gasped recently? Feel free to post anonymously. I realize that most people are skittish about discussing this stuff in public, but it is time to speak out against this practice. If we remain sheep we will continue to be fleeced.  | | Tuesday, May 6th, 2008 | | 9:10 am |
No Movie for Old Grumps Another flick bites the dust. Or just bites. We tried watching No Country for Old Men. My first clue should have been the running time -- around 2 1/2 hours. That's rarely a good sign. The first hour was disjointed, rambling, and far from compelling. It was sort of like a stew made with a couple tasty pieces of meat, some undercooked vegetables, and a scattering of rubber washers. I can't report on the remaining hour and a half. As I mentioned, I joined MySpace yesterday. It's amazing. Since then, three of my books have moved to the top ten in sales rank on Amazon, I've gotten a movie offer, and I'm fully booked for school visits through June of 2019. Dang, this social networking is awesome. | | Monday, May 5th, 2008 | | 11:01 am |
Friending for oneself My daughter told me I should have a MySpace page. I asked her why. She explained. I still had no clue. But given that she is much closer in age to my readers than I am, I figured I'd defer to her wisdom. So I have a MySpace page. I'm sure it will eventually suck time from me, though I'm not sure how. But it will find a way. | | Sunday, May 4th, 2008 | | 10:26 am |
I think I just became an international criminal I opened my email this morning and found this: Dear David, I live in [name of hot, sandy country deleted], you know there is no alcohol at all, so Im trying to make beer. What I have available is non alcoholic beer and bread yeast. Is it possible to make beer out of this? Second Q: my recipe to make beer: 5 Liter of liquid (water + non alcohol beer) and 1 kilo of sugar + 2 tablespoon of yeast are this correct? Third Q: If I increase the liquid do I have to increase the Sugar and the yeast Please Help. Help I'm confused as well as Thirsty for a misty beer!!!!!!!!!!! Regards [name deleted to keep him from dying in prison] I was puzzled at first, and thought it was the opening phase of some sort of internet scam that would end up with me shipping my house and all my property to a post office box in Nigeria. Then I remembered that my web site contains a humor piece called "How to Make Beer at Home." I suspect someone searching for "how to make beer at home" might stumble across it. At that point, I had an ethical dilema. Any advice I gave him would be illegal. On the other hand, it's such a great question. The answer wasn't simple. There were lots of factors to consider, and various ways to approach the problem. I love thinking through this sort of thing. Nothing hooks me like a problem in search of a solution. Here's my reply. (Disclaimer -- the freeze-distillation method is illegal in the United States. It is presented only for information and amusement purposes. Or as an intellectual exercise. Or something like that.) My reply: Hi, [name deleted], The honest answer is that I'm not sure what will happen. Basically, any time yeast is mixed with sugar and liquids, the yeast produces alcohol and carbon dioxide. So if you add sugar and yeast to non alcohol beer, you'll end up with some alcohol in the beer. But I'm not sure how good it will taste. (Also, check the beer label. If it contains preservatives, that will keep the yeast from working.) If you increase the water, you have to increase the sugar to get the same result. You don't have to increase the yeast. Do not put the mixture in a closed container. The pressure from the gas will eventually burst the container. This brings up another problem. By the time the mixture has finished fermention, it will be flat. The safest thing to do is to put in in PLASTIC bottles, add a pinch more sugar, and wait until the bottles get hard. Be careful. These can also eventually burst. When they get very hard, you can let out some of the pressure by opening the cap slightly for a moment. I suspect that everything I'm telling you is probably illegal where you are. So this next thing could really get you in trouble. But here's what you might try. Get some apple juice (with no preservatives) if you can. Add the sugar and the yeast. Let it ferment. Then put it in a freezer. Water freezes before alcohol. So as it starts to freeze, keep removing the ice. This will concentrate the alcohol. Eventually, you'll be left with something you can add right to the beer. I've never tried this, so I can't guarantee it will work. If you can't get apple juice, regular water and sugar will work. I'd suggest you search the internet a bit more for other ideas. Try using "NA" (which is how most people abbreviate non alcohol beer) and look for things like "adding alcohol to NA beer." There are probably some better answers out there. Good luck. David I really hope he figures something out. Anyone who lives in a 120 degree sandbox deserves a cold beer. | | Wednesday, April 30th, 2008 | | 10:08 am |
| | Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 | | 3:19 pm |
Before Juno the Devil's Dead
I've been underwhelmed with my recent Netflix picks. Juno was uneven. The young lady has talent (and a great enthusiasm for waving her hands when she speaks) but the script felt a bit forced. The best part was the performance by the actors who played her parents. But at least I was able to watch the whole thing. After all the raves I heard about Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, I was expecting something amazing. When a film opens with people having sex, it tells me that someone is already running short of ideas. Then there was the whole going-back-to-see-what-this-scene-really-means thing. It was clever the first thirty or forty times it was used in various movies. It grows thin. We gave up on that film before the end. Or the beginning. Or whatever.
In other news, my bad travel karma gave me a break. I got to D.C. without incident, and returned a mere hour later than planned. We'll see if the mojo holds. | | Sunday, April 27th, 2008 | | 7:11 am |
unimPRESSive Actual conversation with a reporter covering one of my school visits. Reporter: So, what kind of books do you write. Me: (pause) All kinds. Humor, horror, fantasy, science fiction, real life. My first fantasy version of this conversation, after brooding about how unprepared she was. Reporter: So, what kind of books do you write. Me: So, what kind of reporter are you? My second fantasy version of this conversation. Reporter: So, what kind of books do you write. Me: Oh, you know, the typical, contemporary young-adult stuff about canabalistic serial killers who can't get along with their parents. I'm off to D.C. for a quick trip. Those of you who have followed the story of my amazingly bad travel karma might want to say a quick prayer or stick a few pins in an airplane doll, depending which side you're rooting for. | | Saturday, April 26th, 2008 | | 10:05 am |
I double H(e)art Minnesota
I have two books nominated for the 2009 Maud Hart Lovelace Award in Minnesota. Punished is up for the younger group, and Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie is nominated for the older readers. State award nominations are one of those unexpected delights (I almost wrote "unexpected surprises") that help draw out the thrill of publishing.
Punished! is also up for the Garden State Book Award, which is great since New Jersey is my home state.
In other news, I was floored when I walked into Conrad Weiser School in Robesonia, PA on Friday. Entire walls were covered with Weenies that the kids had designed. There were punk Weenies, vampire Weenies, a Teddy Roosevelt Weenie, and tons others. I'll post some pictures as soon as I get things organized. | | Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 | | 8:29 pm |
Newsspeak presented without comment
I turned on the TV in my hotel room to catch some election returns, and heard the following from a local reporter: "The voting machines in Pennsylvania worked perfectly. There were only a few problems." | | Monday, April 21st, 2008 | | 5:20 pm |
Weenie roast
Well, the Red Hot Pepper Weenies ms. is off to copy editing to get roasted. And I'm on the road all week, getting my brain toasted. But life is good. | | Friday, April 18th, 2008 | | 12:51 pm |
Devoted thoughts
This is just a stray thought, so don't snarl at me, but I wonder whether things would be much different in the U.S.A. right now if voting was a priviledge instead of a right. I'm not sure what the requirement would be. Maybe voters would have to listen to at least one debate (okay, that might violate the Geneva convention) or pass a simple test such as finding the US on a map or explaining why the office of the vice president isn't part of the executive branch. I'm not advocating anything -- just tossing out a concept. | | 8:38 am |
Doom
I don't know when they added it, but Barnes and Noble's web site now has a link to see which stores in any area have a book in stock. I thought Worldcat was dangerous. This is like crack. | | Thursday, April 17th, 2008 | | 9:17 am |
Why we revise -- part 836 in an infinite series
I just glanced down at the opening line of a short story that's on my desk. Bear in mind that I have probably read and revised this story at least ten or fifteen times. And yet, somehow, the following sentence made it through all of those passes unscathed.
As soon as I heard the high-pitched voices, I tried to herd Duncan away from the slag pile. | | Wednesday, April 16th, 2008 | | 10:23 am |
OOP -- I've been undecimated OOP is not oops. If you make a mistake, you might say, "Oops." If your publisher is typical, you might not know you are OOP (out of print) until you find out through a book store or distributor. I just heard from a school that was buying books for a visit. They told me Wizards of the Game was out of print. I emailed the publisher and was told they'd sent me a letter about it last May and were "sorry you didn't receive it." While I don't like to see any of my books go out of print, that one hurts the least. As for being undecimated, I still have ten book in print. If one of those gets OOPed, I'll be decimated, using the original meaning of the word. (Supposedly, Romans would kill one in every ten soldiers from captive armies, thus decimating them.) Since eleven is "undecim" in Latin, I think it is so much cooler that I am undecimated. By the way, this is not a plea for sympathy. I'm far less irked than I thought I'd be. I've gotten lots of amazing book news in the last week or two, and I'm deep in the rewarding task of making final revisions to my story collection. Hey -- last thought on the topic: Q: What do you say when you run out of ARCs? A: Galley OOP. | | Tuesday, April 15th, 2008 | | 3:46 pm |
That's Hot
Oh yeesh -- I can't believe I just used that phrase. But it seemed appropriate. After months of wrestling with all sorts of possibilities, I have the official title of my next story collection. My 4th batch of stoeis will be called The Battle of the Red Hot Pepper Weenies and Other Warped and Creepy tales. Hot on the heels of the Campfire Weenies. The title story is about a couple kids who get into a pepper-eating contest. I can't wait to see the art. There will be flames.
In other news -- my troll experiment didn't produce much of an increase in hits. But, as my brillaint commenters pointed out, I'd missed out on a lot of good bait. | | Monday, April 14th, 2008 | | 8:10 am |
The central issue of our times Once in a while, when I post an entry on a topical or controversial subject, I get the sort of anonymous comment that, based on the flaws in grammar, logic, and civility, doesn’t seem to come from the typical reader of this blog. (I assume my readers are articulate, intelligent, well versed in a wide variety of subjects, reasonably civilized, and capable of rational thought.) I suspect these drive-by comments are from people who found the entry while searching for certain words they feel strongly about. Given how far down a blog post might be on Google's results, this indicates amazing persistence on the part of the searchers. Even so, I have a hard time believing there are people out there who sit around all day doing trolling for topics. So, to put it to a test, I’ve decided to make a post that contains as many hot-button phrases as I can think of. To help get actual visits, I’ve put the phrases in sentences. I apologize for the longer-than-usual post. Regular readers should stop right here. There is nothing but keywords ahead. The second amendment gun control issue of the right to bear arms is hotly contested between the gun lobby, and especially the National Rifle Association on the one hand, and those who feel that semi-automatic weapons don’t belong in the hands of hunters. Thus, the Brady Bill attracts the attention of rifle owners. The only greater controversy, of course, is the abortion issue, with Rowe v. Wade being the litmus test for conservative supreme court judge appointments while even the right to choose movement might have members who feel that third-trimester abortions (aka partial birth abortions) are not a good choice, and stem cells should not be harvested from embryos. Planned Parenthood has a different stand on the morning after pill than the Moral Majority, and the Catholic church has spoken against condoms and in favor of abstinence-only education. The advent of cloning brings another level to the debate, as does gay marriage. Bush, Cheney, Iran, Iraq – the whole issue of weapons of mass destruction, when viewed through the lens of nuclear arms and the development of weapons-grade plutonium and uranium in North Korea, presents a quandry for those who want to believe that the suspension of habeous corpus, as some such as Amnesty International claim occurs at Abu Gareb, would lead to a loss of personal freedom. Barack Obama, Hilary Clinton, and John McCain definitely have differing views on this sort of issue. They all seem to share some of Al Gore's feelings about global warming, though the price of gasoline may actually encourage conservation as we all contemplate enormous oil-company profits, rivaling those of Halliburton. | | Sunday, April 13th, 2008 | | 9:08 am |
Bovious
I love typos. I just mistyped "obvious" as "bovious." This struck me as a great word to describe anything that is undeniably cow-like. I actually got some Google hits on "bovious," which isn't surprising since it must be a fairly common typo. I'm sure some magazine has run a contest where readers send in humorous definitions of words created by transposing one letter. I'm so glad my native tongue provides such a rich playfield. | | Friday, April 11th, 2008 | | 5:54 am |
Weenie Todd?
I still need a title (and title story) for my next story collection. We've run through a bunch of possibilities, each of which didn't fly (fry?) for one reason or another. The near misses include:
What's Eating the Vegan Weenies?
In the Clutches of the Gas-o-Weenies
The Battle of the Bleacher Weenies (parents fighting at their kids' sporting events)
Gaming with the Wii Weenies (just kidding)
For those who aren't familiar with the books, the first three titles are In the Land of the Lawn Weenies (wherein the title characters love their lawns more than life itself), The Invasion of the Road Weenies (joggers), and The Curse of the Campfire Weenies (clueless adults who ruin fun activities). I've also considered vampire weenies, and we're currently looking at red hot pepper Weenies (where kids get into a pepper-eating contest). I'm open to suggestions. The Weenie in question is generally an adult who is loveably annoying in some way. But I'm not rigid about that. I just want something that sizzles. | | Thursday, April 10th, 2008 | | 9:52 am |
GPS question
As I move boldly into the world of 20th-century technology, I've been thinking about getting a GPS. I'm considering a Garmin nuvi 200 or 260. For those of you who have a GPS, is it worth the extra money to get text-to-speech? It seems like it would be a nice feature. Anyone used both types? Anyone spring for the wider ones (200w or 260w)? Anyone have a different brand you love?
Spring is definitely here. The grass is turning green, which makes me think about finally getting around to raking the fall leaves. |
[ << Previous 20 ]
|
![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
davidlubar's journal
