Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in David Lubar's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
6:57 am	The most expensive book I ever bought On December 7th (no symbolism there) of 2011, Marshall Cavenidsh Children's Books announced that they had been sold to Amazon. This announcement would have meant nothing to me, except that on March of that year, I sold a young-adult short-story collection to them. Extremities: Stories of Death, Murder, and Revenge is a book I had been trying to sell, in various forms, for at least ten years. (Along the way, it sat for two years with an editor who'd promised to publish it, and then broken his word.) The great irony is that, when I sold it to Cavendish, I was weighing a second offer. Had I accepted that one, the book would be on the shelves now. But that's a side issue. The crucial thing is that, on December 7th, anyone who had a book with Marshall Cavendish became a pawn in a larger game with several powerful players and far too many victims. I've been following the game closely, since I'm on the board. (Though I'm not a king's pawn.) Soon after the news hit, I decided I needed to buy back my contract.  (One of my hobbies is performing grand and meaningless gestures.)  I didn't like the idea that my book wouldn't be available in stores. (I know that Barnes and Noble recently decided to stock those books that had been published or contracted by Marshall Cavendish before the announcment. But I suspect there are many independent stores that won't do this.) Book stores are crucial for both readers and writers. I love watching young readers browsing the shelves. That's a magic I hope we never lose. It's a thrill seeing their excitement as they spy a favorite author's name on a spine, or grab a book whose title intrigues them. I didn't want to lose my browsers. And, really, I didn't want to be part of this game. I'm happy to have my books on Amazon. I want my books available in all formats and for sale at all venues. But when I sold the book to Marshall Cavendish, they were a traditional publisher, well loved by both the chains and the indies. (And by their authors.) That's the deal I signed up for, and that's the deal I wanted for this book. Last month, I sent a check to Amazon to repay the part of the advance I'd received. I've waited eagerly for news that the check was deposited. It finally happened. The book is mine. A weight has been lifted from my spirit. Tor/Starscape agreed to publish the book next year.  I'm excited about the collection. The stories are dark and horrifying. There will be illustrations, which I suspect will also be dark and horrifying. I know I'll be missing out on the powerful promotion Amazon could put behind the book, and I admit the decision was not based on career considerations, but I had to follow my heart. The book is right where it belongs. I feel badly for the writers who have all their books with Marhsall Cavendish Children's Books. They weren't given a choice. Some of them have been unable to get their books delivered for signings at conferences or school visits. But I don't think of Marshall Cavendish Children's Books or Amazon as villains in this. The only real villain is the parent company, Marshall Cavendish Corporation. They didn't care whether they were escorting writers onto a cruise ship or tossing them under a bus.  This is disgraceful behavior for a publishing company. I now understand why, when I was introduced to the president of the company (or the CEO, or some high-up mucky-muck wearing lifeless eyes and a gray suit) last year at the Public Library Association conference, he seemed disinterested in meeting me. He already knew I'd been sold. Dear sir -- you suck.  Some day, I hope you learn that books are not commodities and that authors are not expendable.  As I said, I am a very small player in all of this. And a YA short-story collection is hardly the sort of book that will earn as much as one of my novels (though it's really a sweet little volume). But, ultimately, I wanted a voice in the fate of my book. After ten years of trying to get it on the shelves, that's not a lot to ask. I might turn out to be a fool or a genius, but I won't be a pawn. And, when the book gets releases, I'm planning to throw one heck of a party. I suspect it won't be hard to find a willing book store to host it. (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 11th, 2012
1:17 pm	I can haz grammar (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 11th, 2012
9:10 am	There's a place for bad behavior... A boy gets an alien death ray from his uncle. A gamer gets hooked on casino gambling. A bully steals steroids from an enormous athlete. What could possibly go wrong? Once in a while, I'll write a story that contains an item, a scene, or an action that might be considered inappropriate for classroom reading. So that story can't go into one of my Weenies collections. But that doesn't mean it isn't a good story. I've gathered a selection of inappropriate stories, tossed in some other tales my fans might enjoy, and priced the whole thing as low as possible. Do the appropirate thing -- get a copy for yourself, or for your favorite young reader. Only $.99 -- yes 99 cents. Get it for the NOOK at Barnes & Noble Get if for the Kindle at Amazon.com Get it in ePub, mobi, pdf, and other formats at Smashwords. com (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 1st, 2012
7:30 am	Weeniedex! Or Weendex, or even Windex. Call it what you will, I've created a topical index to all the Weenies short stories, along with a separate language-arts related index. If you are a teacher or librarian, you might find it useful. Check it out. Tell your peers. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 14th, 2012
10:59 am	A brief Valentine's scene From Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie: "Happy artificial holiday with strong commercial overtones." Lee handed me a wrinkled white paper bag. She was wearing a shirt with a heart on it. I guess in honor of Valentine's day. Except it was a real heart. "Happy that to you, too." I looked inside the bag and shook it a bit. Jelly beans. All black. "I don't have anything for you." "Reciprocity is not mandatory," she said. "Now that would make a good t-shirt." (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 10th, 2012
7:23 am	Can we combat ignorance? I suspect many people will be discussing the latest Santorum quote: "I think that could be a very compromising situation, where people naturally may do things that may not be in the interest of the mission because of other types of emotions that are involved. It already happens, of course, with the camaraderie of men in combat, but I think it would be even more unique if women were in combat.” I'll leave it to others to attack the main issue. For me, the glaring part was "even more unique." As anyone who works with words could tell you, it is bad form to modify a superlative. True, we have fallen into the habit of using phrases such as "very best," but "unique" is special, not just because it is a superlative, but because it is the superlative that most grammar weenies wait to pounce upon when modified. It is, in essence, one of the "gotchas." Or, to go meta and describe in by way of another pet term of grammar lovers, it is a shibboleth. Even the more-permissive grammarians, who might allow "more unique," would probably blanch at "even more unique." By the way, I'm fully aware that any post about grammar will have at least one glaring error. Say lah vee. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 5th, 2012
10:18 am	Rick Santorum fails to hit a Homer I know there's a big game on, but I need to talk about something else. (And it's pretty obvious to me who will win. It's going to be the Denver Brocnos, proving once and for all the miraculous powers contained in the prayers of a devout athlete.) But to the matter at hand... Rick Santorum, in a recent doomsday speech at a university, said, "Go back and read what the sirens did once you arrived on that island. They devour you. They destroy you. They consume you." Any fifth grader, any college student who halfway paid attention while reading Homer, and (I'd like to hope) many of the folks who read this blog, would blink or frown in puzzlement at this statement. Devour? No way. The Sirens lured sailors to their island. Depending on which source you go to, the sailors either stayed on the island for the rest of their lives or perished in the attempt to get there. Where the heck did Santorum get the idea they devoured anyone? I especially love that he began with, "Go back and read..." Good advice, twit. Oh, and here's another tricky little thought that might contain too much logic for Santorum and his ilk. If you believe in any form of the Apocalypse as described in Revelation, then you can't also believe that man will destroy the world. You can't end something twice. But that's another matter. Now, as much as it's pleasant to make fun of him and his ridiculous ideas, there's a deeper problem here. The media should have been all over it. It has all the elements for a perfect story. (Especially given the "go back and read" part and the fact that he said it at a university and nobody corrected him.) But the story of this error received almost no coverage, as far as I can see. I'm just hoping this doesn't mean we have a generation of underschooled reporters following around a generation of badly educated candidates. Let's hope it just means all the smartest reporters have already stopped listening to Santorum. (Guess what, Rick? You're candidacy is living in the end times.) Okay -- back to the nachos. (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2012
3:44 pm	The fresh air was nice So, for those who followed along, we had an interesting discussion during the past several days, exploring whether men have an advantage in kidlit. A blog's comment section isn't the ideal place for an extended dialogue, so I suspect the conversation will die out soon, if it hasn't already. But I need to do a bit of wrap-up. First, I want to thank everyone who participated. It was great to hear from authors, librarians, and award judges. (Thank you for keeping it civil, too.) Second, just to sum the it all up, several things seem to have been established, or at least well argued. First, we shouldn't mistake public discussions for what happens in award meetings. Second, many of the writers are not concerned about intentional bias, but about subconscious bias. Some fairly good arguments were given to bolster the belief that women face biases in many areas. (Confidential to ANON#2 -- you made some excellent points. I hope you disclose your secret identity to me, via email, so I know who I'm praising. I can keep a secret.) I have to say it's pretty obvious to anyone who functions in the real world that women have to deal with far more types of subtle and subconscious bias than men do. But one cure for that is revelation and discussion. Thanks again, all who played the game. I'll get back to funny stuff in my next post. Oh -- one more thing. If you feel badly about not getting a Newbery, a Printz, or some other award or honor, think about this -- just being eligible means you had a book published. That's a pretty awesome achievement. You rock. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
12:17 pm	And the winner is -- the Y chromosome I recently posted a question on a listserve for librarians, asking whether there is a bias toward males in kidlit awards and promotion. Some interesting and informative responses resulted, as did some interesting replies to those responses in various private message boards. In the interest of generating a more-public discussion, and allowing everyone to talk in the same place, I'm posting my original question here (with slight modifications to remove the library-specific aspects). ANother interesting blog post, focusing on the Caldecott, can be found here. START OF ORIGINAL POST There's been a passionate discussion among authors about whether (or why) there seems to be a disparity between the ratio of male to female authors and the ration of male to female award and honors recipients. Many of the female authors I know would love to see the issue discussed in public, but most feel it would seem whiny for the affected side to raise the issue. (I can testify that none of the parties in the discussion is in any way whiny.) Anyhow, I figured it would make for a good discussion (and might shed some light on aspects the authors hadn't considered), so here's the basic issue. Based on various unscientific methods, there seem to be far more women than men writing YA. (All that follows holds true for books for younger readers, and for illustrators, too, but I'll stick with YA since it takes less time to type.) The ratio could be as high as 7 or 8 to 1. (While scanning a Goodreads list of all YA from 2011, I ran into such a high female-to-male ratio that I had to take a break and get a testosterone shot.) The ratio of male to female award and honors winner for the major awards, over the years, is about 1 to 1. (Interestingly, BFYA -- Best Fiction for Young Adults -- ran 2 to 1 female this year, and 4 to 1 for top 10.) So, we have the fact of the award ratio, and the probable fact of the writer ratio. Now, we get to the discussion issues. It boils down to two questions. 1. Is there a bias toward males when it comes to industry recognition? 2. If there is a bias, where does it come from? If the answer to #1 is "no," then #2 is moot. Note that there seem to be two ways to disprove bias. You could show that the ratio is actually closer to 1 to 1. Or you could show that the ratio of books which might reasonably be considered for awards and honors is closer to 1 to 1. (This is one of the areas where the expertise of librarians would come in handy.) Those who believe there is a bias have offered various explanations. The most common claim is that publishers tend to promote male authors more than female authors. Again, librarians, being on the target end of much of the promotion, should be able to offer some insights. Those of you who receive boxes of books should be able to share some thoughts. Another issue is the ratio of female to male librarians. Some writers wonder whether this has any affect on awards. (Don't shoot the messenger.) There are a lot of people out there who would love to hear your thoughts on this. I hope some of them will slip into the discussion with their own insights. And, just to make sure I'm not the target of any cranky responses, I have to emphasize that I'm interested in the issue, but not involved or invested. For me, this is purely an academic question. END OF ORIGINAL POST One issue I neglected to mention was that of physical appearance. Many feel that there are vastly different standards in the publishing world when it comes to what is acceptable or desirable in male and female authors. Some feel that more men than women are sent on book tours. Some feel that men have an advantage when conferences book speakers. Obviously, many of these issues aren't restricted to publishing. (There's been a similar discussion on SUMO-bk, for example.) I look forward to a spirited discussion. I hope some of you who posted in the listserve will copy your posts here. (40 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 6th, 2012
3:18 pm	The Daily News Myers Itself I posted this on YALSA-bk, where there's been a bit of discussion about the Daily News piece that trashed Walter Dean Myers, but I figured I'd share it with a larger audience. (That means both of you, my two loyal readers.) The hot-issue quote seems to be "The purpose of literature is to elevate." Honestly, I can't argue with this. I know, more than once, when I needed to grab something that was just out of reach, I stood on a book. It really works. I was elevated. Though all literature isn't equal. The later Harry Potters do a much better job of elevating than those really thin books like The Dubliners. Seriously, the whole thesis of this article, as stated in the headline, is spurious. You can't dumb down literature. Literature comprises a spectrum of depths. You certainly can't ascribe a universal purpose to it. Homer was probably writing to preserve history, and to show off his mad rapping skills. I doubt he saw himself as an elevator. I know that when I write, my main goal is to entertain. I'd like to think some of my output counts as literature. Alas, I'll be dead and cold before the final vote is tallied. Writers don't make literature. Time does. Really, the bottom line to all of this requires me to use a slight bit profanity. For anyone to write this sort of article right after Mr. Myers was named kidlit ambassador is basically just a self indulgent and shitty thing. It is the opposite of elevation. (11 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 29th, 2011
7:17 am	Oops, I did it eGain So, having discovered how amazingly easy it is to publish an eBook (not counting the multi-week learning curve or that fact that publishing is 1,000 times easier than publicizing), I decided to put together something that might interest the teens and adults who are already reading my books. It gives me giddy pleasure to introduce my brand-new publication. A Sharp Collection Many things can pierce – sharpened stakes, fencing swords, cat's claws, short stories, ideas, earrings, and love, to name just a few. This collection of eleven penetrating stories, gathered from my contributions to YA anthologies, contains some of my favorite pieces, including a slapstick account of a young man sent on a mortifying mission by the girl he loves, a tale about the mysteries of faith and belief, and a comedy of errors where a Transylvanian immigrant arouses suspicion in the darkness of the Alaskan winter. I've had the pleasure of writing short stories for the best anthologists in the YA world. Now, I have the pleasure of sharing those stories with my readers in one sharp collection. Only $2.99 Get it for the NOOK at Barnes & Noble Get if for the Kindle at Amazon.com Get it in ePub, mobi, pdf, and other formats at Smashwords. com (Comment on this)
Friday, December 23rd, 2011
6:50 am	I have the coolest fans Really -- they really help keep the temperature down in the summer. Wait. No. Wrong fans. Sorry. I got up too early. Speaking of which, I woke up to find, via Twitter, that the amazing librariansdaughter (as she is known on YouTube) made a video blog post about my eBook.  I'm tickled.  And I'm sure she'd be pleased if you took a moment to watch it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdaRalkMg_0 (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2011
11:42 am	My premature thoughts on being a frozen embryo I should probably keep my mouth shut about the news that Amazon has purchased Marshall Cavendish's kids book until things become clearer. Whatever I say will annoy someone. But if I can broadcast my feeling about the loathsome snarkiness of Kirkus Reviews and be so audacious as to tell folks at the ALA that Best Books was broken and needed to be fixed (which eventually happened, though you'd have thought I was suggesting they decapitate puppies and make slippers out of them), I guess I can take another dump in public. A couple years ago, I had a manuscript that wasn't right for my publisher. It was a project from the heart. I had no expectations for major sales, but I wanted to get it out on the market. I even thought about printing it myself. It was that kind of book. Last year, while sitting next to Margery Cuyler at a book signing, I pitched it to her. She liked it. We made a deal. The book is scheduled for the fall of 2013. I met my Cavendish editor, and liked her. I was excited, end they were enthusiastic. That's a good combination. When I saw the news this morning, my first thought was that I knew how a slave felt when he was sold. But that's absurd. Slavery, rape, and the Holocaust are far too dreadful to be used metaphorically for every sling, arrow, and hangnail. This, in truth, was just about a book, and not about my survival, honor, or freedom. My editor, who was wonderfully responsive and will probably be spending the next 24 hours on the phone, did assuage my initial fears. The book would still be published as planned. Which brings up my newer, better metaphor. I feel like a frozen embryo, or perhaps a puppy (with its head still intact) trapped in a custody battle. If Amazon prints this book, will Barnes and Noble and the indies stock it? I don't want to antagonize them. I sell a lot of books through Barnes and Noble, and I sell a lot through indies, especially when I do school visits. If I decide to make some sort of self-destructive grand gesture and offer to buy back my contract, I piss off Amazon and Marhsall Cavendish. Amazon sells a lot of my books. I just published my first eBook, both there and on Barnes and Noble. I have friends at Marshall Cavendish. I don't want to piss off anyone. (Except for Kirkus.) I want everyone to like me. (This is a genetic defect common among Jews.) And I want everyone to buy my books. More than anything, I want to spend my time writing books, not sleuthing all over Google to try to figure out what this morning's news will mean to me two or three years down the road. It could be terrible. It could be the best thing that ever happeend to my career. Odds are, it will be neither. But I hope I never again wake up to the news that I've been sold. Wait, forget the embryo. I feel like Joseph Merrick. "I am not a commodity! I am a man!" (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, December 1st, 2011
9:55 am	NaNoWriMo? Nope. I have my own personal StaNoDuTha. Yesterday, National Write a Novel Month ended. I think it's a nice idea. It's great to bang something out quickly. It's great to write a whole novel, since writing is an essential part of learning how to write. I might actually participate, except I have my own tradition, which dates back 17 years. In 1994, I had a full-time job as a game designer and programmer. I'd also started writing again, after a bit of a lapse. Some time in early November, I got an idea for a book about a boy who temporarily becomes a vampire when he encounters a vampire who only needs a small sip. The idea excited me, but I didn't want to dive right in. Thanksgiving was approaching, and the four-day weekend seemed like an ideal time to start. As I waited, I kept crafting more and more of the opening in my mind. On Thanksgiving morning, when I sat down to write, the story gushed onto the page. At the end of the day, I had 4,000 words. I kept the pace up for four days, coming close to finishing the first draft. (It was a chapter book, so it ran far shorter than a novel.) I enjoyed the experience so much, I decided to recreate it the next year. As often as possible since then, I've tried to start a novel during Thanksgiving. Hidden Talents, True Talents, and My Rotten Life all started that way, as did several unfinished or unsold novels. Some years, the stars just don't line up right. This year looked like one of those. I'd been working sporadically on a novel since July, trying to build up momentum. I'd also played around with several ideas. One of the ideas intrigued me, but it wasn't right for my current commitments. I did write several scenes to explore the concept, and felt that at some point, I'd return to the book. Then, while sitting in the passenger seat of my car, holding my daughter's dog in my lap, merging onto Germantown Pike from rt. 276, an idea hit. I realized I could combine the cncept that had intrigued me with another of the dormant ideas, which currently existed as nothing more than an opening paragraph, into something so much larger. It was what I call a "fire in the belly" idea. I knew I had my Thanksgiving project. I'm older and slower than I was in 1994. I wrote about 1,000 words each day. But I got a solid start on the book. I don't want to share details, yet. I will say that it is an older book than the chapter books I've written recently. It will be for high school and upper middle school students. It's a fantasy. It won't be a quick one to write. But it's the right book to write. I'm excited. (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 24th, 2011
9:02 am	Gobble Up These Thanksgiving Books FAVORITE BOOKS FOR THANKSGIVING The Ear, the Eye, and the Drumstick -- a fabulous collection of recipes for those leftover and rarely used parts of the turkey. Cranberries for Sal -- in which a young girl realizes that her life is bogging down. Pippy Lumpstuffings -- a spunky redhead, left on her own by a self-indulgent, career-driven father, manages to make a passable Thanksgiving feast for herself and her horse. The Very Hungry Relatives -- a horror novel that might be upsetting to younger readers. The Jelly Postman -- in similar fashion to Frosty, a tale of a civil servant sculpted from cranberry jelly by a bored lad and animated by some unspecified magic. The Noshing House -- actually more concerned with the day after Thanksgiving, but extremely satisfying and fulfilling. Fowl Moon -- a youngster learns a lesson about shopping at outdoor markets with bad lighting and, after bringing home a duck instead of a turkey, tries to defend her actions with all sorts of poultry excuses. Jeremy Thatcher, Turkey Hatcher -- in which a boy establishes a telepathic link with a turkey and discovers it has no thoughts whatsoever. If you enjoyed this piece, check out my eBook humor collection, It Seemed Funny at the Time, for lots more comedy at a bargain price. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 21st, 2011
10:17 am	You saw it here, first Or on Facebook, or Twitter, or maybe Google image search. Anyhow, here's a first look atthe next Weenie cover. The book comes out in June, 2012. I'm reading through the galleys this week, and I'm feeling good about the collection. It feels like a winner. Or a weiner. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 17th, 2011
9:35 am	My eBook eXperience -- part nine (conclusion) So, what have I learned, and what do I think is worth passing along, and was it all worth he effort? My thoughts on these questions, in no particular order: If you are comfortable with basic HTML, it isn't hard to get a book into Kindle format. If you don't know HTML, there are still ways to do things yourself, but you won't have as much control of the format. This probably won't matter for a novel. The ePub format takes a bit more work, but there are a lot of support forums out there for people using Calibre and Sigil. Other than an investment in time, there's really no down side to playing around with the software. Smashwords provides a lot of good information on formatting a manuscript. Even if you plan to put your book directly on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, consider using Smashwords for their coupon ability. Most published writers (not counting superstars or those with a huge Facebook or Twitter following), who are used to getting PR from a publisher, are in for a bit of a letdown when they launch their eBook. (I've spoken with several other writers who've been through the process.) This dismay can be amplified by the immediate access eBook authors have to current sales figures. (When someone says, "I'll buy your book today," the unchanging sales total is like a tiny stab to the heart. It's even worse when the reviewer thanks you for the coupon for the free book, and there's no sign it was redeemed.) Since anyone can publish an eBook, eventually everyone will publish an eBook. It would have been smarter for me, when making my first eBook, to publish something that appealed to the same audience as my published books. But a book like that could also be published in print. "Smart" doesn't always take priority. If I had to depend on an eBook to pay the rent, it would be crucial for me to be smart. At the moment, I can afford to be a little bit stupid. Despite the somewhat gloomy tone I may have taken when talking about sales figures, I'm glad I went through the experience. I enjoy solving technical problems. I enjoy making my work available to readers who might enjoy it. I've already gotten some nice praise from people whose opinion I respect. I put out a good book. It just needs to find its audience. Thanks to everything I learned, I'm pretty sure that the next time I publish an eBook, it will take a lot less time. And I definitely plan to publish more eBooks. Though probably not with politicians on the cover. That does it for posts about eBook experience. If I learn anything magical about marketing, I'll write about it here. But I definitely need a break from all of this for the moment. Before I move back to my usual mishmash of topics, here's one more link to the book I know you're all eager to buy. Oh -- one last tip for all you eBook authors out there. Forget about blogging. It doesn't help at all. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 16th, 2011
9:44 am	My eBook eXperience -- part eight So, hot diggity, I'd published an eBook, It Seemed Funny at the Time: A large collection of short humor. Now what? Here's the thing. My first twenty-three (rough count) books were published the traditional way, and my publishers took care of a lot of the promotion. I did the usual author stuff, like signings, conference talks, etc., but they're the ones who really spread the word. It's worked very well, and I have no intentions of abandoning the traditional route any time soon. (Quite the opposite. I have just one book coming out next year, but there will be a slew of releases in 2013. But it's far too early to promote any of those titles.) I had several target audiences for the book. The first part is general humor, with a bit of extra appeal for people who remember the 1980s, or are at least versed in the pop culture of that time. There are separate sections for computer geeks, writers, and YA and kidlit fans. I posted an announcement on a listserve for librarians. I post there often. It has nearly 4,000 members. That resulted in a whopping total of three or four sales. This was the first in a series of groin kicks that drove home how insignificant my slice of the social network actually is. I'm on Facebook, Twitter, and here (Livejournal). But I've never made an effort to gain followers or friends. I don't focus on a specific topic, so I haven't developed a niche readership. I sometimes discuss my political beliefs, which might alienate some factions. I've sold millions of books, but my readers don't flock to Twitter and Facebook. They flock to Call of Duty and Family Guy. Clueless about how to spread the word, I did something very stupid. I decided to send an email to everyone in my address book. Yup -- every person who'd ever sent me an email, or to whom I'd sent an email. I gathered up the list, wrote a short email explaining that this was the one and only time I was ever doing a mass mailing, and clicked SEND. My mail service informed my that I was over the allowable number of addressees. I cut the file into smaller chunks, and started sending emails. At about the halfway point, my mail service informed me that it was shutting me out for 24 hours because I'd sent too many email, and too many had bounced. Crap. I'd become a spammer. Briefly. Just once. But I still felt sort of slimey. Here's the worst part. Later on, I realized that there were certain people I could email to ask for a review or a blog mention. But some of them had already gotten my first spammy mailing, and I didn't want to compound the offense with a follow-up. In one sense, my early experience has been dismal. I've sold fewer than 50 copies across all platforms. (I offered it at a deep discount on a small message board I frequent, and sold no copies.) But there's a bright side. Unlike print books, eBooks don't get remaindered. They don't get pulled from the shelves if they don't sell well in the first month, or the first six months. If I figure out a good way to spread the word next September, or even in November of 2014, the book will be as available as it is today. (It's also possible my dismay is premature. I didn't do any promotion before the book was launched. Print books get a lot of pre-release PR. So the book has only been waving its arms and crying for attention for two weeks. There might be a dozen bloggers out there getting ready to write about it. Or there might not.) Bottom line -- was it a good idea or a mistake? I'll discuss that, and pass along some final thoughts, in the conclusion of this series. Meanwhile. Buy my eBook. Please. I really want to get my sales totals up to three figures. Or six. (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 15th, 2011
9:44 am	My eBook eXperience -- part seven of many Smashwords provides a formatting guide. Basically, they want a Word doc with as few different styles as possible. The only challenge is that Word loves creating styles. The easiest approach is to start out with plain text, then add in the formatting for bold, italics, and chapter headings. I didn't want to backtrack that far, since the ms. was already fomrtted and it had a lot of bold and italic. But I knew I could check whether Word was doing anything undesirable by writing the file out as html and looking at the code. The hardest part was that I now had to generate a hand-made table of contents. (This was hard in the tedious sense, not in the complicated sense. I had more than seventy entries.) Happily, I didn't have to type up the entries. Here's a quick and easy way that I got a copy of my table-of-contents entries. I used a web browser to open my mbp_toc file. (This is the file that MobiPocket Creator generates.) I could have opened any html version of my ebook, but the mobi one was the first that came to mind. Then I selected the entire table of contents and copied it into the clipboard. Next, I opened Notepad (not Wordpad) and pasted the text. Now, I had my TOC in plain text. I then had to insert all the hyperlinks and book marks. After that, I put my title page back (I'd put it in a separate document so I could place it ahead of the TOC in the Kindle version) and I was ready to sumbit the ms. to Smashwords, The process seemed to go well. The problem is that Smashwords generates all the files with an automated system, so the author doesn't have total control of the format. When I tested the Kindle version, it didn't go to the introduction. It skipped over it and went right to Part One. Taking a guess that Smashword's software looked for phrases like "part," at the start of a page, I added "Part Zero" to the chapter heading for my introduction. That fixed the problem. There were some other tiny issues, but none that I felt made enough of a difference to drive me back into the depths of Word. My book was now available on Smashwords. All that remained was for me to spread the word, and then sit back and watch the sales come in. Right. I'll get to the ugly and dismaying world of self-promotion next time. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 14th, 2011
12:14 pm	The cheese stands alone, leaving me in awe of the idiocy of Herman Cain I hadn't intended to interrupt my series of posts on eBook publishing, but Herman Cain's latest statement needs to be addressed. (Special thanks to David Gill for giving me a great line to steal for the first half of the subject heading. I take full credit for, and pride in, the second half.) Of all the moronic and simplistic statements Herman Cain has made, no single utterance has driven me to the keyboard with as much passion as his latest brain fart. He is quoted in GQ as saying, "The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is." There are so many things wrong with this statement, at so many levels, that it could be the grain of sand for a doctoral thesis (or one of those far-too-long New Yorker pieces.) I'll let others address the obvious issue of sweeping generalizations and the whole idea that there is some sort of manly archetype to which all men aspire. I'll stick with the crucial part that annoyed me enough to write this post. Real pizza -- good pizza -- doesn't need any toppings. This is not to say that you shouldn't cover your pizza with whatever you like. I've had my share of topped pizza. But when I go to a new pizzaria to try out their pie, I always get a plain one. That's the true test. Even if I want a topping, I keep it simple. Once you bury the pizza under a heap of everything, it becomes a different food. (Just as a Chicago pie is a totally different creature from a NY pie. It's not Catholic vs. Protestant. It's football vs. Call of Duty. Wonderful things, but different things.) A heavily-topped pizza is just an unfolded calzone. Am I claiming I know more about pizza than the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza? No. I'm not claiming I know about marketing and manufacturing chain pizza. I don't know how to get the best deal on ten tons of cheeselike stuff, or what sort of slogan to put on the box for best results. But I've had pizza in some of the greatest venues on Earth, including New York, Chicago, the Jersey Shore, New Haven, and Florence (the one in Italy, not the one in Henderson). I'm claiming two things. One -- the true test of pizza, for me, is a plain pie. Two -- people need to really listen to Herman Cain and think about what he is saying. As for being manly, all I can say is I've never been accused of harassing a woman. I think that is a much better barometer of true manhood than an abundant pile of pepperoni. (4 Comments |Comment on this)